• No news is good news

    by  • November 5, 2012 • Uncategorized

    The IVF process means that there is a little more poking, prodding, and monitoring in the early stages than with a traditional pregnancy. By the time you reach 12 weeks, you’ve had already had a couple of ultrasounds, countless blood draws, and several adjustments in the meds. As soon as we hit 12 weeks with this pregnancy, we had a bit of a scare, which led to more ultrasounds and appointments, in addition to the regularly scheduled steps like genetic testing blood draws. By the time we reached the 14-week appointment, it seemed like we had visited the doctor almost weekly. At that point, all of the excitement slowed down.

    As we then approached the 18-week appointment, nerves suddenly set in. The babies still weren’t big enough to be able to feel them moving around and we hadn’t found ourselves in any moments of panic. What’s more, I felt so…normal. My pants were definitely tighter and I wasn’t sleeping too well, but other than that it was hard to tell that anything was happening – hence, the anxiety about what the doctor would report. Turns out, fortunately, that everything is perfectly fine. Both babies are as active as can be and I seem to be progressing nicely.

    While I still can’t really explain why I ever came up with this seemingly crazy idea to carry someone else’s child(ren), the farther I get into the process, the more I am assured that it was the right decision. People sign up for this for numerous reasons and have varied experiences. There is no way to tell what will happen from day to day. There is a lot of finger crossing. There are a lot of sighs of relief when the good reports come. Hitting the halfway mark (at least, for twins) about a few realizations:

    • I’m very fortunate to have another uneventful pregnancy. It’s reassuring to think that the ‘feeling’ that I’d be a good candidate for being a surrogate has, thus far, been validated.
    • As the pregnancy becomes more obvious (read: definitely can’t hide it anymore), I realize many people who know me do not yet what I’m doing. They congratulate me on the pregnancy and I explain it’s not mine. It never ceases to amaze me how this experience connects with so many people in some way, shape, or form. That, in itself, is a reward.
    • While there have been parts that have seemed to go slowly, the pace is sure to pick up now that we are past the halfway mark.
    • There are still no promises that things continue as smoothly as they have gone. I know this. I accept this. For now, I will continue to enjoy the fact that the ride has been a relatively easy one and keep fingers and toes crossed that it continues.


    Liz is a former educator, a community builder and a referee of two boys. Her family's adventures in imperfect balance include delivering twins as a surrogate and living in Puerto Rico for nearly a year to run a local farmers market.